My bags are packed...

We are now two days past my due date and still no baby.... For anyone who knows me, they know I am sooo not a patient person! But I've surprised myself with how patient I'm being with this. At first it was because I wanted to really deep clean my house.....then it was because I didn't have my bags packed.... then it was because I wanted to wait until Kace got here so we wouldn't have to call someone to come over in the middle of the night if I went into labor.  Well the house has been deep cleaned since last week, the bags have been packed since late last week, and Kace and Sierra came on Sunday....and still no baby. Now I think it's just because reality is hitting that I live exactly 957.62 miles from my mom and I've never had a baby with her not right there. I never worried about having a baby. My mom was less than 100 short steps from my front porch to her side door. I wasn't worried about what time of day or night I would go into labor because I knew no matter when it was she could come over and be with my other kids and I wouldn't have to worry about them at all. And if I ever needed a break she was right there to take the other kids so I could rest or just spend some time with my new baby. Or when I got mastitis (which I've gotten with each child...) She would take care of me when I was sick.  Or if for some reason she wasn't right there, my mother-in-law always was. She only lived 7 minutes away. I think somewhere in my subconscious mind I'm trying to make myself not go into labor because we're in a new place, I have a different Dr., (who I really do like and he actually reminds me of my old Dr., but still isn't my old Dr. who I felt like knew me so well.... I mean he delivered me for pete's sake!) I'm delivering at a different hospital, and did I mention I'm not close to any family? ;) I just know that it's so much easier to keep this little man inside of me than it is going to be once he comes out. Sure I have sleepless nights right now, but I know they will be even more sleepless once he gets here, what if he is colicky, what if he doesn't nurse well, what if he has any problems of any sort, what if I can't take care of my other three and a new baby?! .... I could go on and on. Yup. I think I'm definitely trying to keep this kid inside of me. My bags are packed, my house is clean, the car seat is ready, but I am not! This will be the first time Austin will be able to take a whole week off of work to be with me (and still actually get a paycheck) which will be so nice, and Kace and his girlfriend Sierra are visiting right now, so I don't need to worry about who to call in the middle of the night, but I still have this fear that this time it's going to be different. It will be different. I just hope it's a good different. So when people ask me when I'm getting induced or when I'm FINALLY going to have this baby I can't help but laugh because I refuse to set an induction date, and secretly I'm fine with him staying inside of me. I can deal with the crazy back pain for the rest of my life I'm sure. And the baby has finally moved off my blood vessels he was blocking off to my feet so my swelling has gone way down, so I can deal with that too. I may not be able to get back up off the floor once I sit down, but that's why I have Austin to pull me up, and I am totally rocking the waddling so really I'm just fine. And this little man can stay inside me as long as he wants.... as long as he stays the same size because I obviously shouldn't get any bigger than I am... (I'm shocked I'm actually posting this pic. This is a lady that is two days over her due date people! So think nice thoughts please! ;) )